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About

Vision: To build a community of strong stepmothers in New Zealand.

Mission: To support stepmothers to become strong and resilient, and to help improve the odds of the primary relationship staying strong despite the challenging role of stepmothering.

Up to a third of today’s population are involved in complex family relationships, which means there are a lot of stepmothers out there. But for a range of reasons, there’s not a lot of sources of support. We know it can be a tough job and stepmothers to take care of themselves too. This website is dedicated to helping stepmothers stay strong and look after the relationship with your partner.

My why

When I first met my husband, I remember him telling me that I was lucky that he’d take me on with two small children. Apart from that being an incredibly insensitive thing to say (and I have regularly reminded him of that over the last 18 years…) what neither of realised is that by far the biggest stress on our relationship would be the dynamic between me as stepmother and his four children. He’s had a relative cakewalk as a stepfather, but being a stepmother is definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Eighteen years on and of a dam full of water under the bridge, it’s a small miracle that our relationship has survived. But it has, and you know, being married to the love of my life makes it all worth it. The big picture is that I want to help you survive stepmothering so that the relationship with the love of your life stays intact.

I want to help you to be okay in yourself and to help you:

  • Understand that being a stepmother can be very stressful for many – so it’s not just you
  • You’re not a failure or a bad person if you’re struggling
  • Find ways to handle difficult situations that may impact your relationship with your partner.

It’s important that stepmothers get the support, information and comfort that you need to be able to ride the challenges that you deal with every day. You are worth it. Your relationship is worth it. I hope this helps in some small way.

Andrea